This is my rebirth.
It has been the longest of times since I have last addressed this blog but I am going to try and make it again.
For today, sound is the topic.
When I hear your voice, it’s erratic. This sudden impulse to grab a hold of your being and pull you in closer. The chill that is ever so present between our breaths will only fade away with such thoughts. Never dissipate, my love. Our time is near, and holy grail what emotions.
I have been taking a lot of time to open myself to gender and its intentions in my life. I have also been hoarding lots of jewelry and clothing, or maybe just a few outfits in total. I cannot wait to see this come to life on this blog.
Until next time, stay crystallized.
I never thought it would be so difficult to manage a blog and be a full-time college student. For me writing takes a lot of effort because I have to dig into my mind to uncover new ideas and inspirations for these posts. Although I am a day late I am doing the daily post for learning.
Yesterday was the first day of class for me and I feel myself almost addicted to learning new concepts in chemistry and mathematics. For me knowing the hard stuff always struck me as beautiful and being able to tie in the things I learn throughout the class time into my daily life is truly spectacular (that is why chemistry is the best subject, just saying). I never liked history and that was obvious in my get to know me tag which was an essay, honestly. I cannot wait to indulge in the juicy matter that organic chemistry beholds but more than that I am also excited to having more time for self-awareness and judgment. Judgment is not always a negative, when you judge yourself you see your weaknesses and have the ability to mask and deal with them.
I still find true knowledge in the self and the consequences of this are far too grim. Sometimes we deal with it fairly well but other times we subject ourselves to torment, which is the negative outcome of self-judgment. Now that I am also living alone I find it very easy to lose myself in my own thoughts. Luckily I have the friends to bring me back up and distract me form this double-edged sword that is a single-dorm.
Soon enough my creativity will fully blossom and I can finally look at myself as a true warrior in disguise. A fashion wannabe in action. A true DIY goddess in the flesh.
In the meantime let me waste my youth on youtube and the library.
Thank you all and have a crystallizing day.
So for this week’s Sketchbook openings I have two pages done almost entirely with ink.
One night in my aunt’s house I was bored at a family gathering so I started to draw one of her plants sitting on her counter. I was very inspired because her house and backyard both have lots of foliage staring at you from every angle. With the excitement of being around lots of plants I got to doodling and drew some of her plants and created some of my own flower shapes. Obviously withering and decay is a common theme in my art so I decided to add some of those motifs in this page. The opposite table things are just there for space-filling purposes because my high school art teacher always told me I left too much space untouched by art so I always have that in the back of my mind but I find beauty in emptiness, so I don’t care about what people think.
On the second page I have an image of people kissing, obviously. Their genders are up for question because I drew on one of those basic tumblr girl chokers that I may or may not own. The glistening beauty this kiss possesses is something I covet every day of my life. LGBTQ relationships and their public displays of affection give me life without being in one. In the future I plan to embrace that aspect of my life instead of hide it and I await that day. It is untouchable, unreachable, and unknown. Those outside cannot touch it, cannot reach it, and for some people it is unknown. I created the faces on this page without lifting the pen from the page and I love that process in art. Creating messy yet articulate images.
I hope you all had a great day, stay crystallized, and I’ll see you all in the swamp.
That’s right, bitch. The human spirit is complicated.
At times I start to think what our lives would be like if we did not emotionally react to traumatic experiences. Recently, a friend of mine has been going through the single most difficult event anyone could live with. Death. Now I know a lot of my Monday posts are very morbid but this needs to be addressed. We get so attached to people and I enjoy it, no matter what happens. Heartbreak, rejection. Two unfortunate things we as humans experience due to reliance on acceptance. However, when we are rewarded with these blessings, our souls are replenished and true art emerges.
In our lifetimes, death is not to be escaped. It is something that is a part of nature and it genuinely sucks. As someone who used to want to be dead, it is not an issue I like to talk about. We are constantly reminded that we need to be around people and that takes skill. In all commercials you always see people gathered, celebrating life, that it takes a true analytics expert to see that solitude is also key. I read a transcript of a speech given to a school of JROTC students and the speaker was explaining how important it is to relinquish your social life every now and then and reclaim the silence within your mind. Not necessarily meditation but maybe taking a long bath, listening to Psychemagik, and scrubbing yourself with a mixture of oils, honey, cinnamon, sugar, and coffee. You’ll smell great and feel like a newborn child.
I hope some of you find beauty in silence because if you do you are probably already halfway there to being crystallized.
Have a great rest of the day and I will see you all on Wednesday.
Hi everyone. Sorry for not uploading this on Wednesday but I forgot my laptop at home, I promise to keep the regular schedule but next Friday I am moving in to my dorm so I’ll see what I post. Maybe photographs from my vacation at Marco Island.
So in today’s Sketchbook opening I have a very colorful creation that really makes me smile every time I look at it. It has everything I love in life: doily, rainbows, and greyscale. I found these doilies from a restaurant and if you look closely enough you can kind of see oil stains and grease patterns in the central doily. On the left I used simple black and grey watercolors and it was very easy to fill in most, if not all, of the holes of the doily. Since I did not use all of the colors I used on the right, it was difficult to add different shapes and not make it look too boring and plain. I first started to appreciate greyscale when I transferred to my second high school, Ferguson, because the uniform was greyscale. I love the color white and black and everything in between, so this side obviously means a lot to me. I also used this to represent how I envisioned my personality starting in Junior year of IB Art. I used greyscale to show my dark side that no one knew of me.
To make it symmetrical I used the same swirl patterns and placement of the doilies on the right. For this side I clearly had a lot more of everything to work with. I made sure I used the plain versions of the colors of the rainbow on the doilies themselves but for the little squiggly lines I tried to use variations of the colors and the blue hues turned out divine. Light blue tones are my favorite colors, especially pale/pastel blue and sky blue. I like for this side to be almost like a tie-in to my jovial side, the side in which I can present myself to my friends and be funny and outgoing. I never like to show the greyness of my life so this side masks the ugly and emotional parts of my life.
As a thank you for the constant streaming of views I am going to post some personal pictures tomorrow of my new crystals and a new bandana. I hope everyone has a great weekend.
Luxury is something a cheap college student like myself does not experience often. I have found very inexpensive ways of treating myself to things that will help relax me. I usually go out for a nature walk and that for me is a luxury because in cities that do not have a lot of forests or swamps, free time in nature is something hard to come across. I try to take advantage of all of the leaves I can see billowing in the wind in the comfort of mother herself.
Being with a caring person also has proven to be a luxury. For someone that is sad, being with someone who is not in the slightest bothered by your constant grey clouds is truly comforting. I never thought I would have to rely on someone else for my emotional stability but that might be what I put myself in a relationship for.
One of my other things I enjoy doing that I consider a luxury is obsessively Rupaul’s Drag Race episodes and web series. Some people’s close-mindedness does not allow for them to be able to watch this so I find it to be very luxurious to be able to watch this with no judgment.
Also, I have been looking at too many DIY projects online and I am looking forward to creating lots of sugar scrubs in the near future. One of these Fridays I will be probably sharing the recipe I used and showing some pictures. Maybe I will also be dedicating a weekly post to a new DIY project? Who knows what the future holds for my blog but I am continuing it nonetheless.
Anything you consider to be luxurious can be if you believe in it. Just love yourself before you can love anyone else.
Have a great few days and always stay crystallized.
Hey guys, sorry that today I am not going to be able to post a Fashion Fridays, again. However I was not in the mood to post something based on Praise because for some reason the words of the day are always somewhat saddening. I wanted something upbeat to end everyone’s blogging week so here we go.
- What is your middle name?
- Alexis. It is also my father’s name and I have come to take great pride in it. My second last name is also Velasquez, so my full name is Nicholas Alexis Rivero Velasquez but since I live in the United States I have to not even consider the second last name.
- What is your favorite color?
- I always give mixed answers but I love the colors white, eggshell, lavender, and grey. I like muted colors but pops of neon vibrancy is always appreciated.
- Who was your first best friend?
- I honestly cannot remember this but his name was Matthew I believe and he had a sister. We met in the first grade in a very small school and that is the earliest memory I have of a best friend.
- How tall are you?
- I am 5’8″. Probably a bit taller now but around that height.
- Cats or Dogs?
- I have never had either but I would prefer cats.
- Funniest moment throughout school?
- All of the moments in lunchtime where my best friend would videotape me consuming strange things.
- How many countries have you visited?
- Guatemala and The Dominican Republic. So 2.
- Are you in/gone to college?
- Yes I am a second-year student at the University of Florida but I have little school spirit.
- What was your favorite/worst subject in high school?
- Favorites were chemistry and art but I hate history with a passion. I have never liked it.
- What is your favorite drink?
- I do not like the idea of consuming alcohol so I love water and tea.
- What is your favorite animal?
- I love white animals, like foxes or Siberian Huskies as well.
- What is your favorite perfume?
- With the name of my first boyfriend I really love Armani Code, the black one. It smells so good and reminds me of high school and good times.
- Tea or Coffee?
- Tea. Hands down love tea, specifically green teas with ginseng, honey, and lemon. The brand Celestial at Publix makes amazing teas.
- What would you (or have you) name your children?
- I always loved the name Aurora and Xavier, but I am open to so many others that my future husband likes.
- What sports do you play/have you played?
- I played basketball for a year or two, then soccer for about three or four years, then I switched to tennis. I am still playing tennis and it has been about six years.
- What is your favorite book?
- I am not a big reader but I love Anthem by Ayn Rand.
- Who are some of your favorite youtubers?
- With all of the controversy behind him, Jeffree is still very inspiring for me. Also GiGi Gorgeous, MilesJaiProductions, and lots more but I like a lot of beauty gurus and gaming channels. Yes I am weird.
- What is your favorite movie?
- Prayers for Bobby, I saw it on YouTube and I really cried at least eight times. I am not exaggerating, I really cried many times.
- Are you single or taken?
- What’s your idea of an ideal first date?
- Gosh. Here we go. So I love to talk. Therefore I would love to meet up all day for our first date but I also would love to end it very specifically by going to a park at night and talking some more. Some kissing, star-gazing, and cuddling on a towel.
- How many girlfriends/boyfriends have you had?
- I believe I have had three girlfriends but two serious boyfriends that never ended well. I am not here to talk shit but I need a real boyfriend now, one to talk to and have there reliably.
- Favorite memory from childhood?
- Going to the Keys almost every year and enjoying Southern Florida.
- Do you speak any different languages and how well?
- Spanish very well but do not attack me with heavy vocabulary. I am learning French and I am about 23 per cent fluent (thank you Duolingo).
- Do you have any siblings?
- I have a younger brother.
- How would you describe your fashion sense?
- My fashion sense is definitely grunge senior citizen going on his weekly Goodwill spree.
- What is your favorite restaurant?
- Red Lobster, I have always loved it but I am cheap so probably Subway honestly.
- What are some of your favorite TV shows?
- I watch some anime. I have finished Soul Eater, Deadman Wonderland, Sword Art Online 1, and Attack on Titan. I am watching Naruto Shippuuden and Fairy Tail.
- PC or Mac?
- I have a MacBook Pro, but I don’t care. I love Apple but iTunes is annoying.
- What phone do you have?
- I got my current iPhone 5S for 99 cents because of a discount and credit from my previous phone.
- Tell us one of your bad habits!
- Sometimes I don’t shampoo for five days because of my damaged bleached hair. Don’t judge!
I love you all, sorry for this essay but remember to stay crystallized!
So for this week’s sketchbook openings, I have a strange layering that I decided to do one day. I got my three most muted colors that went well with each other and started to add layers of them to create a three-dimensional effect that still drips with opulence because dripping is of course one of my favorite process in art. As you can see, the textures in some areas of the bars of paint give shadows and depth, which is what I wanted to achieve. For some reason, I also decided to give some of my own DNA in the form of hair, although most of them fell off my head and did not need to be ripped. No need to worry for no hair follicles were harmed in the making of this art. For some added patterns, I scribbled along the edge only because I felt that it would help make the entire page pop as opposed to only keeping the colors. I think they complement each other well.
On the right I simply drew Asuna from Sword Art Online. The episode in which they had to fight The Gleam Eyes really made me fall in love with her even more. The instant in which she charged forth (and maybe the music had something to do with it) was so intense and after that her relationship with Kirito really all fell together for me. That show really had a lot of unanswered questions for me and I really need to have them answered. I regret not coloring this drawing in with some of my new watercolors but whatever, I guess the next few pages showcase the colors and more intricate things as well.
For now, I hope this is not too late for a blog post. Yesterday’s (yes it was published on a Tuesday) got some love despite being published after most people’s bedtimes. I hope you all had a great day and stay crystallized.
At least I got this blog post in before it was no longer under Monday’s rules.
As for apologies, I think I deserve one. After all of this time of moping may I at least have some form of reconciliation? To be honest sometimes I feel that the truth breaks through this desire to have an apology. How could such a strong word dictate what I can or cannot do? I must accept that some people do not change and their carved words will only ingrain themselves to the point of anguish.
You know of those classic anime battles that occur within? The ones where the villains have this pain that they cannot let go of and it leads to their demise? *Grunts* Nagato. However, as humans with thought processes we can see past these with enough strength and support. After a while of groaning I can start to see no point in trying to relinquish this apology from someone else. I can only grow individually and if I am trying to change someone else’s life then I am only going to expect hardships.
After all of these years of hearing to people telling me this I have finally listened to it and interpreted it. Never did I think that some of the people who have crossed my path would be the ones to inspire a post of mine, a thought, an ideal. I thank anyone who is reading this who ever gave me any advice and forgive me if I was too close-minded at the time to listen to you.
Thank you everyone, and I apologize for the delay, I had so much time to write this today but I cannot believe I forgot. Stay crystallized.